Viewing an American Ethnic Community by Frank A. Salamone

Author:Frank A. Salamone
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-7618-4815-8
Publisher: UPA

Chapter Three

Family

The term “family” could mean many things, depending on how wanted to use it, for inclusion or exclusion. The core, of course, is the nuclear family. Beyond that were so many relatives, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins of all degrees and just friends who were fictive kin; that is, honorific family. In many families there were often overlapping ties, which only family members could figure out. We were related to many relatives on both sides of the family, allied to others in various ways, some of which I still need to consult others on. Indeed, family events often exposed alliances and fault lines in the family. There were also lines of seniority and genuine friendship along the way. Some siblings were closer to each other than they were to others as were some cousins. These alliance could change frequently, and, as I observed, with lightning swiftness.

People dropped in on you all the time. Sometimes a phone call might announce your coming or even an invitation. However, relatives and neighbors or just plain friends stopped by. Thus, the house was always spotless and God help you if you didn’t do your chores. Since most women were working in our family that meant we kids had to do our share of the two or three times a week cleaning of the entire house. No dishes, of course, were left to dry on their own and none left to soak in the sink. No baseboard went unpolished for more than a few days. Dust was the enemy. Our parents were all too aware of the slurs “Americans” mouthed about “dirty Italians.”

There were many customary celebrations, of course. First Communions, Confirmations, anniversaries, and birthdays were holidays and even when we were too old to have all the relatives over and wanted just our friends, the relatives showed up. So we split our time between the two groups, hoping to break away from one group to go to the outside world but always feeling the tug back into the security of the family. Roots continued to anchor us, whether we wished them to do so or not.

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